For a Peter Spann 2018 Wrap, it’s been a big year, and by and large, a good year.
If 2017 was all about reflection 2018 has been about taking stock moving on.
Life has a way of rolling on. It never stops, it never slows down. It is relentless. Tick, tick, tick. Every day the sun rises and sets. It up to us to decide what happens in between.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Film
The first goal for the year was to make two films. I have achieved that.
My first film, “Sydney” was a labour of love and it has achieved some acclaim with 9 film festival category wins so far.
Making short films is a silly endeavour really. It’s pretty much the same as printing business cards (except at about $3,000 per finished minute!), and throwing them from a tall building hoping someone amazing will pick them up and like them.
There’s no pay, long hours, high stress and a lot of quite, dark moments wondering why you ever started. And the only rewards generally are what we call “salad” – laurels to add to your poster.
Sometimes this pays off handsomely. My friend Yolanda made a short film called “Cargo”, got it into some great festivals and eventually got the call that led to a deal with Netflix. It’s a fantastic Australian film and I highly recommend it.
I’m still waiting for my call!
My other film “Zebra” is in post-production now. I’m really looking forward to showing it to you and we hope to make a web-series out of it.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Year In Review.
I’ve often reflected on how life can turn on a dime.
Sometime it’s a big event like an accident or a global event or hearing a Doctor say something entirely unexpected.
But other times it’s something simple like running late, missing your bus and meeting the love of your life on the next one, or in my case a couple of highly unexpected phone calls which turned me upside down… But more on that a little later.
It has been a year of quiet recovery. Working on my health which has improved greatly, sorting out financial and legal matters from years ago and growing creatively.
I haven’t done as much work as I would have liked to this year, certainly not behind the camera, but I’ve made enough to get by and enjoy life.
More importantly the work I have had has been enjoyable, with great people and I feel I have contributed a lot this year, turning my brain to helping people solve big problems and wading through complex issues.
My anxiety and depression have largely been under control in this half of the year and so that feels a lot better. I’ve been sleeping better and able to approach things in a better way so the path has been simpler.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Gratitude
Personally I think gratitude is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves.
It opens up so much in our lives. It turns bad to good, it flips anger to peace. It clears piles of baggage and turns them into fond memories and it heals wounds too deep for any other cure.
On a metaphysical level gratitude exists in an enormously powerful triangle with Synchronicity and Love as the precursor to manifestation. Being able to create what you need and want for life without effort.
I have quietly practiced gratitude wherever I can. Sometimes it’s not easy. When life gives you lemons it can take some time to figure out how to turn them into lemonade.
Sometimes no matter how hard I try I just keep coming back to a big rotting pile of lemons.
You know how it is… You’re going happily through your day when life drops something out of the blue and you need to adjust.
I always used to get cranky for example if I forgot something after I left the house and had to go back for it.
But now I just figure the universe or Heaven’s Public Service (HPS)* is adjusting my timeline a little bit.
Much easier to make me walk back inside for my keys and push back my timeline a few minutes then stop that train that would have hit me if I left right then.
Heaven’s Public Service
* For those of you who don’t know I reckon Heaven must have a huge Public Service – a massive bureaucracy that organises every interconnected thing on the planet, maybe the entire universe, to carry out our fates as required.
So if they want you to run into and meet someone, for example, they have to set a complicated series of processes into play to make sure you are both at the same place at the same time and in exactly the right sort of mood to engage with them the way that’s needed. And I think its staffed by everyone not bad enough to go to hell but not good enough to go to heaven – so purgatory.
So now if I have a minor issue or delay I just smile knowing heaven is looking after me.
I also believe coincidence is important. Running into someone out of the blue, seeing someone or something that you need or want, an unexpected introduction, an experience or invitation in the direction you want to go.
It’s the HPS at work.
Some little public servant up there has typed up a form, in carbon paper triplicate, and had it approved and stamped just for your convenience and a possible amazing new direction.
How many times has an unexpected, seemingly small thing in your life lead to an eventual amazing outcome? That’s the HPS looking out for you.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Synchronicity
These acausal coincidental events (synchronicity) drive our lives more than anything else. There’s a deeper (and/or) higher organising intelligence at work. To me it’s how manifestation works in a practical sense.
The way we are trained to get things that we want in our life is virtually the opposite of this.
We are told to work hard to get what we want some time in the future. Problem with this is life becomes a grind. The things that we want to do are set aside for things we feel we need to do and it’s hard to be grateful when there’s so many lemons and so little lemonade.
But with manifestation we put what we want to the universal coordinating energy, look out for synchronicity and take advantage of it when it happens.
For this to work we need to be ever open to curiosity and opportunity. We rarely get what exactly we want straight up, rather a coincidence occurs that puts us in the space of someone who can help or an opportunity that might lead us to open an unexpected door that leads us to something that coincidently is where we want to be.
And no matter what happens (and this is where it can be tough) we need to remain grateful for whatever we get along the way.
Because the universe is getting us ready, its testing us always, calibrating, organising. And it’s doing it for 7 billion other people on the planet all at the same time with no greater positive or negative for you.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Retraining
So this year I have been retraining myself to be grateful for whatever has happened. And it hasn’t been easy.
Just when I think I’m there, something comes along that gives me pause to think, to reflect.
I began to think I was addicted to my previous life and was having withdrawal symptoms.
Mostly wading through the sea of self-loathing, sadness, loss and regret that sometimes washes over me when life is difficult and I remember how wonderful it used to be. Of course I had my troubles back in the day but I also had a lot of buffer around those troubles.
It was a humbling experience.
Treatment for an Addict
It occured to me that I might treat myself like any other addict…
- admitting that one cannot control one’s addiction;
- recognizing a higher power that can give strength;
- examining past errors;
- making amends for these errors;
- learning to live a new life with a new code of behaviour.
As part of my own 12 Step style process I also reached out to a lot of people, friends, ex’s and so on, that I felt, for whatever reason, I had wronged and tried to find a way to makes amends.
It was surprisingly not as liberating as I thought! LOL Of course, most had moved on long ago from whatever wounds I thought I had inflicted upon them, some didn’t even seem to know about or remember the things I was apologising for.
But it did have a renewing effect on some old relationships which were dormant and that was lovely.
And as magnificent as my friends are and as wonderfully generous they have been in their support over the years this year has been about being able to stand on my own feet again, and finding my way back to the values and beliefs that made me so successful in the first place.
I think because I was opened up to these ideas and took to them so early in life I missed most of the struggle that is the feature of many people’s lives. I was successful so early that I never really knew what it was like to experience hardship and how to keep mentally focused through that.
So sometimes it’s been very hard to find how to be grateful.
Simple Things Made Difficult
On a lighter note some of the things I’ve had to learn would seem pretty basic to most people.
Like, I never had to queue in the past. Never. Anything that required queueing I’ve either had someone else to do for me or I paid somehow to jump past it.
Now I find myself in the queue at the Post Office or the Supermarket like everyone else.
So, I’m sure I’m tearing at your heartstrings and you are experiencing an enormous amount of pain for my sorrows but it was genuinely hard to learn how to queue.
Because it seems such a waste of time.
In the past my time was too valuable for me to wait, but now, and this was the emotional stack in it all, my time was no more valuable than anyone else so here I was, queuing with the best of them to get my stamp and get on my way.
Life is all about time and love.
And being wealthy was the fundamental tool of that. Being able to buy more time.
I’ve had the same argument with many fitness junkies that health is not part of the highest actualizational values.
Health is a function of time. People who are healthy are just buying more time on the planet. And I guess a better quality of time as well. So it has higher order benefits.
So to be standing in a queue caused me to have high order anxiety. Was this what my life was reduced to? Was this all there was left for me for the rest of my life? Could there ever be a way back for me? And if there wasn’t is it even worth being here?
If you can understand the basis of this anxiety for queuing you can understand the multiplier that having every other aspect of my life subject to the rules, constraints and hurdles that most people experience every day has caused for me.
They say “it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved before” but I would seriously argue with whoever said that first sometimes.
So 2018 has really been about me reconciling that I don’t have what I used to have and being grateful for what I do have and where I am.
There’s still a backlog of lemons to deal with but we’re gradually getting the lemonade factory back in business.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Friendship
If you follow me at all you’ll know how important my friends are to me.
Without any family I have to rely on them when things get tough, when I get down, or life gets too much. And positively I get to celebrate with them when things go well.
I guess there are reasons to like me, I tell a good story for example and that can be entertaining, but I can also be obnoxious, have no filter (at all) and most people think I’m quite rude.
Sometimes that can be entertaining and endearing. But sometimes it can be quite grating.
Add that to the fact that I think I’m smarter than just about anybody and I probably know what your problem is and how you should fix it (oh, people LOOOOOOVE that!!!) and you have a mixture ready to explode at any moment.
Funny thing is I hate rejection and I really, mostly, want people to like me so it seems a strange strategy to achieve that outcome.
It’s been a mixed year for friendship. I’ve had to let a couple of people go. They may or may not know, I didn’t tell them but it was time. And that’s sad.
I have also deepened friendships with people who were waiting to connect with me more. And that’s amazing.
I have reconnected with two old, dear friends who had drifted away and I look forward to deepening those connections too.
And in one startling phone call I lost a friend who was very precious to me…
Love and Loss and Other Misdemeanours
A good friend, someone who I had grown to love, and shared so many amazing and wonderful things with called most unexpectedly and told me they couldn’t be friends with me anymore.
And I guess it’s like anything that comes out of the blue… One minute life was one way, the next it was changed forever.
People come and go in our lives. We know that. And it’s always sad when someone you love leaves for whatever reason. But this one. This one I thought was a keeper.
All it took to bring down years of friendship was one 20 minute call.
At that moment as they were speaking my mind stopped. I could feel my heart constricting. It was as bad as, perhaps worse than breaking up a long term relationship.
Life always returns to a new normal, but at that moment I had no idea what to do.
Nobody could tell me how to deal with that heart breaking sense that something, someone, so important to my life just 20 minutes before was no longer in it.
And by deliberate choice.
“I know what people say– you’ll get over it. I’d say it, too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, you’ll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget.”
― Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
Luckily “life goes on” is a never ending axiom.
This is not the only friend I feel I’ve lost this year and the sadness can sometimes be overwhelming.
Thank You Dear Friends
So I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my dear friends for all their love, kindness and support again this year. You know I love you.
I hope I have contributed back to your life too when you’ve needed me.
Thank you to those who have come into and out of my life. It was lovely to spend time with you, share some moments and with luck make some positive memories. Thank you.
And finally thank YOU. Thank you for following, reading, liking, and commenting in this modern connected / disconnected world. I always appreciate you.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Determination
The thing that set me apart from everyone else was not my looks (even though I’m extraordinarily good looking LOL), my talent (even though I was a constant student and honed my skills in all the important areas of my life), or my intellect (because how many incredibly smart people do you know who are not particularly successful?), but a dogged determination to succeed.
That I would just plow on when everyone else gave up.
This message was so important that I would spend a good 20/30 minutes on it at the end of my 3 hour program because I wanted people to know that success didn’t come from the factors most people think it does.
Most of my friends who are highly successful in business are not the smartest tools in the shed, many of them didn’t even graduate high school but they were / are persistent.
In fact I think that part of it was smart / talented people have a duel corollary going on in that they think it is natural talent that will carry them because early success proved that to them but it leaves them always second guessing themselves and if what they have is enough? And that type of thinking always leads to failure.
At elite sports level it is not the level of talent, skill etc that separated winners from losers, it was simply mental attitude.
There are many factors in success. A lot of people think it’s luck and I guess a little luck never hurt anyone but it’s not the main one…
“I’m a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”
– Thomas Jefferson
There’s no doubt talent is one of them but it’s not the only determiner, it may not even be the most important.
For example passion is one very high on the list.
Success is a lot of hard work for 99% of people so when things get tough passion will keep you going when other people stop.
“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.” – Thomas A. Edison
Suffice to say it is your hard work and “stick-to-itiveness” that will win the day as long as you keep developing the other areas of your professional and life at the same time.
So keep hanging in there, no matter how tough it gets. The sun always comes up.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – What I Was Reading
Here are the 3 books I read this year and loved…
12 Rules for Life – Jordan B Peterson
Own the Day, Own Your Life – Aubrey Marcus
The Courage to Be Disliked – Ichiro Kishim, Fumitake Koga
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – What I Was Watching (Film)
Here are my favourite films from 2018…
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri – Best Film of the Year
A Star is Born – Allow yourself to get swept up. How Bohemian Rhapsody (which I thought was a rather average, inaccurate biopic) outperformed this is beyond me.
The Favourite – wildly entertaining, exceptionally dark and rivetingly beautiful.
Cargo – brilliant Australian film which is not what you’re thinking.
The Rider – no actors, just raw emotion. If you love horses and the humans that love them you will love this.
Shoplifters – understanding the ties that bind in a compassionate love. You will be moved.
Sweet Country – soaring Australia storytelling at its best.
A Simple Favour – unexpectedly funny and quirky in all the right places.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – What I Was Watching (TV)
Here are my favourite TV Shows from 2018…
The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina – another reboot that gets it right this time. Dark, a little scary, and marginally annoying but if you liked the 90’s version you’ll love this.
Bodyguard – awesome (except for the last episode but we can forgive that). Only the poms could make drama this good.
Sharp Objects – weird and wonderful slow burner set in the deep south with Amy Adams as you’ve never seen her before.
The Haunting of Hill House – old school, slow burn thriller / horror with a new age take. Swallow that!
The Good Place – off beat humour about the human condition poses the simple question – can humans ever actually change? Latest season has a bizarre Aussie twist.
Glow – High energy 80’s fun with the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.
BoJack Horseman – a show about fame, narcissism, and despair that keeps getting better and better if you can get past episodes that are so dark, sick and twisted you’ll need a torch to get out from under them. You’ll either get it or you won’t but if you do you’ll be addicted!
Maniac – Emma Stone, Jonah Hill and the darkest recesses of the human mind – what more do you need?
Below Deck – genuinely one of the worst best shows on TV. Along with “Bachie” my guilty pleasure.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Looking Forward
Hard to believe another year has come and gone, with the harsh cruel reality that the older you get the faster they go!
Honestly and seriously the most important thing for me in 2019 has to be my health. I know, I know, I’ve being saying it for years but that’s just the point, some stage soon there has to be a reckoning. So either I bring it on or I’m sure it will be brought on for me.
So this is the year to finally lose 40kg in weight. I have a plan, I have a team and so all I need to do is execute.
Heaven help me if we are having this conversation again next year.
Peter Spann 2018 Wrap – Blessing
I always loved the part of church where you shared a blessing with those around you. I was like letting just a little bit of God shine through you.
So, no matter what your year was like in 2018 may your 2019 be full of love, life, happiness, joy, new experiences, and prosperity.
Thank you for being part of my life this year. May we be friends for many years to come.
And that, as they say in the movies, is a Peter Spann 2018 Wrap!
Written by Peter Spann
Peter Spann – Film Maker | Director | Business Coach | Writer | Public Speaking Coach | Presenter | Investor.
© Copyright: 2018 Peter Spann – All rights reserved